Tell Someone In 2015
Sexual violence and abuse.
One of society's most heinous and pervasive plagues, and for many of us a
secret. Imagine if everyone carrying that secret told someone. Anyone. ONEone.
Imagine if the shaming and silence of the secret gave way to the sharing and
speaking of the story. If this secret is yours, imagine if your sole resolution
-- your soul revolution -- was the telling.
2015 will be my 9th year as an anti-violence against women activist. I've met SO many women who carry the pain of untold rape, battery and molestation. I've read countless emails containing the words "No one else knows." As a former rape crisis counsellor, the words "I haven't told anyone" have been spoken to me more times than I can count. ENOUGH of the untold. Enough of the muted voices. Enough of fear thwarting justice. Enough of imprisoned spirits. Enough.
For the new year, my loves, tell someone.
Who that someone is is up to you. Whomever you trust. Your best friend, your bro, your father, your teacher, your aunt, your minister, your cousin, your doctor, Grandma. Someone with whom you know your words and heart are safe. The weight of a secret is halved the moment it is shared by two. Maybe you have never acknowledged even to yourself what was done to you. Maybe you start with a cup of tea, a pen, and a notebook, and you tell the pages.
As you read this, some of
you will have carried the pain a few hours. Others a few decades. However long,
it need not be any longer. Everyone deserves a witness to the reality of his or
her life. If you are 70, what a warrior you have been all these years. You have
earned your testimony. If you are 17, I am emotionally invested in this not
becoming the headline of your adulthood.
Maybe the person you finally tell is your lover. Your sister. Mom.
Maybe it's the police.
But TELL someone. Say the words. Not because it's anyone else's business, not because anyone else needs to validate it. Tell because as scary as it is to think of breaking the silence, the prospect of carrying the burden of the secret forever is scarier. You may have lived with it so long that you won't feel the heavy until you put it down. But when you do, you will be overcome by the weight of the weightlessness. Tell because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Tell because it's your story and it's your right. Tell because you will be one step closer to free when at last you name it and claim it.
You are braver, bolder, and stronger than you know. Believe it. I believe in you, so deeply. I have worn your shoes; I know you can do it. Take a breath. Speak your truth. This year, tell someone.
Love,
T.T.
2015 will be my 9th year as an anti-violence against women activist. I've met SO many women who carry the pain of untold rape, battery and molestation. I've read countless emails containing the words "No one else knows." As a former rape crisis counsellor, the words "I haven't told anyone" have been spoken to me more times than I can count. ENOUGH of the untold. Enough of the muted voices. Enough of fear thwarting justice. Enough of imprisoned spirits. Enough.
For the new year, my loves, tell someone.
Who that someone is is up to you. Whomever you trust. Your best friend, your bro, your father, your teacher, your aunt, your minister, your cousin, your doctor, Grandma. Someone with whom you know your words and heart are safe. The weight of a secret is halved the moment it is shared by two. Maybe you have never acknowledged even to yourself what was done to you. Maybe you start with a cup of tea, a pen, and a notebook, and you tell the pages.
Maybe the person you finally tell is your lover. Your sister. Mom.
Maybe it's the police.
But TELL someone. Say the words. Not because it's anyone else's business, not because anyone else needs to validate it. Tell because as scary as it is to think of breaking the silence, the prospect of carrying the burden of the secret forever is scarier. You may have lived with it so long that you won't feel the heavy until you put it down. But when you do, you will be overcome by the weight of the weightlessness. Tell because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Tell because it's your story and it's your right. Tell because you will be one step closer to free when at last you name it and claim it.
You are braver, bolder, and stronger than you know. Believe it. I believe in you, so deeply. I have worn your shoes; I know you can do it. Take a breath. Speak your truth. This year, tell someone.
Love,
T.T.
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